Chasing the Winter Sun
by prose.titute
Summary: 'About three things I was positively confused: First, Jasper had been flirting with me. Second, his stunning, petite wife witnessed some of it and showed no sign that it bothered her. And third, I didn't seem to be as disgusted as I'd have liked to have been. Oh no.' Leah Clearwater is looking for balance in her life. A union of ice and heat wasn't what she had planned. Leah/Jasper
1. Preface

**Disclaimer:** I do not own the rights to _Twilight_

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PREFACE

I spent so much time focused on my lack of happy ending that I didn't stop to consider that my story wasn't over. I am still here. Blood, muscle, nerve – _life_. I was living. Not living the ideal life _yet_ , but I still had chances to get things right.

I needed balance. A balance of family and commitment to protecting my community, along with pursuing my happiness… perhaps far away from La Push.

An equilibrium could be achieved. I just needed to be patient.

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 **Author's Note:** If you follow my profile because of Garden of Glass then I implore you to not hate me! I am planning to update it very soon. Just editing and reaffirming canonical details in it. I've re-entered my love for this rare Twilight ship so I just HAD to spit out a chapter before the idea escaped me. I hope you enjoy it because I've been mentally writing it in my head since around 2008 - 2009, kind of the same amount of time as my Hermione/Theodore fic.


	2. Vernal

**Author's Note:** Y'all are lucky af that I updated this so soon. Do you know how long it took me to put up the first chapter of my Harry Potter fanfic after posting the prologue? TWO YEARS. Yeah. I have serious writer's block. Thank you to everyone who reviewed/favourited/followed so quickly. I love the support this rare-pair has.

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own Twilight. Some white lady owns it because it was borne in her brainspace. StephMeyer THANKS BABE.

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VERNAL

I ran through the forest in my wolf form. I wasn't supposed to be patrolling but I wanted to see if I could purge the anxieties that had been starting to consume me over the course of the morning. If anyone else in my pack phased I'd be doubly anxious. I didn't want these thoughts to be revisited by my pack brothers.

At home in a waste paper basket in the bathroom I discovered a pregnancy test. A used one (with a negative result according to its box that had been thrown away along with it). My mum is the only female living at home besides me, and Seth has never had any female houseguests. I feel a bit relieved about that. My little brother is sunshine personified, and there's a lot of bitches out there. I know I can't protect him from heart break but I sure as hell want to delay him feeling anything bad.

Anyway. The pregnancy test. It was such a shock to see. I mean I know my mum and Charlie have a physical relationship but the thought of my mum getting pregnant again was not something I had ever, ever considered. (It's not really as though she and Charlie are at an age where they would plan to have a family together after all.)

It hurt. My (not very) old mother could get pregnant and I couldn't. My mother who already had a family. This jealousy was pathetic, and I couldn't shake it off.

I kept running.

Seth had phased. I quickly started to list different flowers in my mind to block my prior thoughts. _Lillies, peonies, freesias, nigella, peonies oh no I did that one. Oh it doesn't matter._ _Uh_ _. Roses! Damn. Why did that one take so long to come up with? Peonies, roses, lavender, tulips, peonies. Oh not again damn it._

 _Brain dulling?_ Seth teased. _Leah, wanna race me to the Cullens?_

 _What? Why the hell would I go there? Seth, do you know me at all?_

 _Jake, said to meet him there. I thought that's why you were phased._

 _Did he say that I was to come, or did you just think he meant both of us?_

 _No he said your name too,_ Seth assured me.

I wondered what was going on. Jacob didn't often make us meet him at Leech Central. He would phase and communicate in our special telepathic method. It had to be something big, if it involved the Cullens.

Seth and I arrived at the edge of the forest within minutes of each other. I phased a little way, away from him so that I could dress. After I tugged my strapless dress on, I walked back over to Seth. He was barefoot like me but wearing just red shorts. My dress was light green and dark purple paisley print with white lace at the bottom. I'd been keeping it with me because it was one of the easiest articles of clothing to take on and off quickly for phasing.

Seth rung the Cullens' doorbell. Although they'd probably all heard us walk up to the house if not smelled us.

Bella answered the door. "Hello Leah. Hello Seth. Jacob's in the kitchen with Carlisle."

I knew the warm smile on her face was mainly for Seth's benefit. After months of me rebuffing her attempts to bond she had backed off. I wondered how Bella would feel if her dad got my mum knocked up. Behind Bella stood her husband, Edward and his brawny brother, Emmett. They were both talking in low whispers that even mine and Seth's enhanced hearing couldn't register. I walked past them following Bella to the kitchen.

The Cullen kitchen was gleaming, and clinically clean – much like the rest of their home that I'd seen.

Jacob sat at the kitchen counter on a sleek black and silver stool, Renesmee sitting beside him. Jacob turned towards the door and greeted us.

"Hey, you two. Something really serious has come up. Sort of. It might involve your family."

I raised my eyebrows. I opened my mouth to ask how he knew this but before I could speak the tiny, black-haired vampire flashed into the kitchen. A moment later her mate, the tall blonde fighter, appeared in the doorway, walking past Seth with a nod as a way of greeting.

"I was just about to tell Leah about what you saw," Jacob said to the small female. Alice looked at her husband nervously, and he took her hand in his and stroked it gently.

Now Alice looked at me and said "It's the stuff I'm not seeing that's making things difficult actually." She was standing rigidly, her light yellow sundress showed not a single crease or stain. I must have looked so scruffy but I had slowly learnt to let go of feeling unkempt where transforming into a wolf was concerned. Keeping a beauty kit and nice clothes attached to my hind leg while phased was a major inconvenience.

The rest of the Cullen family had now gathered in the kitchen, taking my thoughts away from my vanity. It was so cold in their kitchen. I would not have guessed that it was a warm March day to be honest. Not that this town is very warm to begin with, considering the persistent rain and cloudiness.

Edward walked over to the counter and exchanged a look with Jasper, who then spoke to Jacob.

"Alice's visions might come back regarding her own future, and until then she only can see others' paths. This does lead us to think that your whole pack could be involved, not just these two. Seth and Leah might not be the… hidden link here," Jasper explained. Jacob nodded but Seth and I looked at each other not following.

"Before you guys continue discussing this amongst yourselves in so much detail, mind filling us in?" Seth spoke up politely. The kid could even smile in a conversation about potential danger he and I were in. He's not dim, I know… he's just very patient. I could learn something from my kid brother if I tried.

Edward chuckled and looked at me. I felt a flicker of annoyance run through me and Jasper turned his golden eyes to me for a second looking curiously but then looked away at Jacob immediately. I didn't enjoy being the source of Edward's amusement. I wished Jacob would get on with his meeting.

"Okay so you know how my ability to see into the future is affected where you guys are concerned right? The future is blocked off whenever shape-shifters are part of it." Alice spoke in her light musical voice.

I simply nodded, and Seth answered with a chirpy "Yup" and looked around at the Cullens, while I kept my eyes on the small dark-haired leech.

"So... before when the Volturi came to Forks, Aro one of the leaders… he noticed you, Leah," Alice said in a stunted way, trailing off.

Mama Vamp, Esme looked really upset. Odd. What concern did she have for me? Her husband placed his hand on her arm and stroked it lovingly, giving her a reassuring look.

Alice was looking at Edward now. Silently communicating probably. Edward placed a hand on his daughter's shoulder and said "Renesmee, let's go upstairs for a little bit okay? Jacob will come and play with us later after he's done here."

Renesmee smiled resplendently at her father, her bronze curls glinting in bright kitchen. She was a very picturesque blend of Bella and Edward. I started thinking about my own inability to reproduce again and I shoved the thought out of my mind forcefully. I didn't like to think about painful things with the leech around. I probably would have found Renesmee's combination of warm brown eyes and bronze hair beguiling if she didn't smell so atrociously sweet and burn my nasal passages. Edward carried the child out of the kitchen and said to Bella, "I'll be listening from upstairs".

It was quiet again in the kitchen. I snapped. "Is anyone going to tell us the damn reason we're gathered here or are we all going to just stand around in cryptic silence?"

Emmett and Carlisle laughed. Esme frowned at them and admonished them. "This is serious. She needs to know. Seth as well. It hasn't even been three whole months since that debacle! And already they're thinking of doing something to collect?" Esme looked really upset.

Jasper left Alice's side and turned to Esme, she suddenly appeared visibly less worked up, but now I was on high alert.

"What are they wanting to collect?" I say looking between Carlisle, Esme and Jasper, and Alice and Jacob. Very uncharacteristically Seth growled at the same time as Jacob. My jaw dropped. "No," I said looking in shock at Alice. "No, surely you can't mean that that grotesque excited leech is wanting to collect me?"

Alice nodded. "We fear he might be wanting to keep you as a part of his guard, but for more perverse reasons. That's why I had Edward take Renesmee out of here. She didn't need to hear these details."

Jacob had stopped growling but Seth was starting to convulse beside me. I was touched by his strong response, but it wasn't surprising. No little brother would be pleased to discover that an ancient power-hungry vampire wanted to basically enslave and abuse his older sister. It was sickening. I was surprised at myself for not shaking with anger. I needed more information though. God. Why the hell were they approaching this so slowly? Any other topic I'm sure they'd have explained in a flash and conjured a billion solutions to by this point.

Now Carlisle spoke, his eyes resting on each face in the kitchen, looking around from Rosalie, to Bella and Seth and then at me. "Aro expressed some interest in your kinds' abilities last December. They left in a hurry though, fearful no doubt that an unwinnable fight would break out, as we'd planned. Edward heard some concerning stuff in Aro's thoughts then regarding having you and Alice join his coven in Italy."

"Yeah, but that was just one instance of Edward listening to Aro's thoughts. Now that he's not in Edward's range to listen anymore, I kept checking in. All of a sudden my visions where the Volturi are concerned are just inaccessible. The only logical explanation at the moment is that Aro has resolved to claim you or others of your kind somehow." Alice paused for a moment. She looked between Seth and Jacob and then back at me. "Edward thinks he's after you. He's very… enticed by the thought of having the only female shape-shifter in known existence."

Suddenly the cold in the kitchen intensified. Disgust and fury rolling through my chest, but not directed at a single vampire in the room, which was new for me.

I tried to take deep breaths. Seth composed himself before I did, and he looked to Jacob and Alice and asked, "So what are we going to do about this?"

"Well, that's what we're going to figure out together. I thought we'd better go over it with the Cullens since their family is involved too," Jacob explained. Eugh. When are they not?

Jasper's mouth curved slightly, as if he'd unwillingly found something amusing. "Maybe Seth and Leah should sit down?" he suggested in his lilting, deep voice so characteristic of leeches. "There's quite a lot to go through, and then I have a feeling you'll want to ask Edward more specific questions."

Seth took Renesmee's vacated seat, and I took the stool on Jacob's other side. I looked around the at the family of leeches patiently and using my most controlled voice I asked them to share everything they knew so far.

Today was probably a record of the most polite behaviour I've ever had around the bloodsuckers. I felt sick and worried as well as disgusted and furious. Although I wasn't facing him, I could feel Jasper's stare on me as his petite wife spoke. The sick feeling slowly disappeared. Even knowing the blond leech had had a hand in that, I did not protest.

I needed it.

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 **Author's Note Continued:** Okay so I have a lot of stuff to say about Leah and her heritage in terms of how it's described and treated in canon and fanfiction culture, but if I was to write it out now I wouldn't be able to give you this chapter as fast as I have. I apologise for any mistakes with grammar, tense shifts, formatting, or canonical errors that don't make sense! Please feel free to point them out to me and I will correct them.

Also I know my summary is a bit of a tease but I plan for the ship to sail (so to speak) at an eventual pace. Please review and tell me what you think so far!

xo Sabrina | Wednesday 8th of July, 2015


	3. Womb of the Earth

**Author's Note** : I still haven't written up my thoughts about Leah's heritage and appearance. I think it would be too long for an AN tbh.

Unrelated; you know what I realised? I completed an entire degree waiting for 'Maps' to be updated. I graduated, did my HSC, started uni, finished uni… still in love with the Leaper ship, and re-reading aKindofGlory's amazing fic. Same deal with 'A Healing Process' by Zeurin. :( EVERYONE, QUICK CYBER-PRAYER CIRCLE FOR THOSE FICS TO BE UPDATED.

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WOMB OF THE EARTH

I'd never sat in a meeting with the leeches before. Not out of my wolf form. Jacob would always relay what we needed to know via our shape-shifter telepathy. I knew I was only tolerating the scarred leech's effect now due to his manipulating power, and that I'd be annoyed as hell about it afterwards. Seth is more ebullient about the leeches and their abilities, so for all I knew, he didn't even need this 'assistance'.

Carlisle looked to Alice and said "Is there any other reason why Aro feels Leah would be a proficuous addition to his coven?" Alice shook her head.

"According to Edward, none of the Volturi are willing to risk their lives to come back here and destroy the shape-shifters. But based on what he heard in Caius' thoughts last December, Caius is uneasy about their existence. It's not local to Volterra so he isn't going to push Aro and Marcus to do anything about the wolves." Alice shared a look with Jacob now that I didn't understand. Jacob spent a lot of time here at the Cullens' house, and had formed friendships with basically every member of this pasty family.

Something occurred to me… This Volturi vampire wanted to stake (ha!) some claim on me, but how would he ever get to me? He had no way of spying on me or kidnapping me from under the noses of Jacob's pack or even Sam's. We'd smell the bloodsuckers on La Push land in an instant, and take them out. It seemed Seth was thinking the same thing because he interrupted Alice.

"Even if the Volturi wanted to capture Leah how could it be done? They can't come here undetected, and Leah isn't going to Italy." Seth looked to Jacob now. "Are you going to tell Sam and the Elders about this?"

Jacob sighed. "I think I'm going to have to. It's safer that way. I was thinking about that before too, about how they'd even get near Leah and can't think of any legitimate, plausible way they could pull it off."

"But the fact that Alice's visions are blocked is a warning sign to us," Carlisle said. His expression was grave. After his last face-to-face meeting with his ancient sicko pal Aro, he must not trust the Euro Leeches very much.

"Even so, Aro knows about Alice's ability," said Edward joining everyone in the kitchen again. "He knows that Alice can't see the wolves, or Renesmee in her visions too. I think he's planning to create a reason to travel to Washington again. Of course I can't know for sure now."

"Renesmee is sleeping?" Bella asked.

"Yes. I tucked her into my old bedroom," Edward answered. "She'll be hungry when she wakes up."

"Oh I'll make lunch for her," offered Esme, smiling for the first time.

"I'll help you, dear." Carlise kissed Esme on the cheek. "Edward, Jacob, I think maybe meeting with Sam is a good idea. Fill him in on the potential situation at hand."

"Yeah, they will need to be in the know just in case." Jacob nodded looking thoughtful.

"Emmett, Alice, and Jasper will come too if needed," said Edward, answering something Jacob had thought.

"Cool. We'll need to discuss strategies and more ideas will help us to be thorough." Jacob got up from his seat. "I'm going to head home and see my dad now. I'll call you, Carlisle okay? Once Sam tells me a time that's suitable to meet."

"Thank you, Jacob." Carlisle smiled gently at Jacob. I was annoyed. I thought there was going to be a lot to go over now, but suddenly the priority shifts to making lunch for a kid who is asleep. Whatever. I guess now I'll get to watch Sam and the other pack boys react to finding out an ancient vamp is endangering me and Seth from afar.

I follow Jacob out of the Cullens' kitchen. Seth and Jacob exchange goodbyes with Emmett, Alice and Jasper but I run to the forest without any pleasantries. The leech smell burns in my nostrils. Seth and Jacob aren't entirely desensitised to it but they spend more time in the Cullens' company than I do so it's not as bad for them.

I peeled off my dress and attached it to my leg with a leather cord. I focused on thinking of ways these faux-royal vampires might try to infiltrate the supernatural security of La Push. It wouldn't do for Seth and Jacob to hear my depression about my mum's pregnancy scare.

The forest becomes a blur as I run home on four strong legs.

* * *

When I got home I flopped onto the couch, debating whether to take a shower or make something to eat first. I decided to shower. I felt so gross. I could smell the sickeningly sweet stench of the Cullens that had permeated the fabric of my thin dress and my feet were dirty as well. There were a few leaves in my hair. Standard, after running through a forest as a big horse-sized magic dog. That's how life goes for me these days. I could get away with looking this unkempt now in Spring. The weather was a little bit warm. But the moment Autumn sweeps in, I'll no longer be able to look inconspicuous in a simple dress. None of the girls in La Push could go without wearing leggings or jeans or tights in the colder weather. None of the other girls in La Push ran a supernaturally high temperature either, not that it was an option to mention it.

In the shower my thoughts trickled back to my mum's pregnancy test. It was safe to think about it now. I really hate the shared pack mind. I got used to it slowly. It's just one of those things that even when you're adjusted… you just can't like it. Fuck the convenience of it, it's so invasive. It made me so uneasy to realise that if such a thing as mind-reading exists, maybe it's not even uncommon… All my pack brothers can do it while transformed, the leech Edward could read minds… Who the fuck even knew if other mind-readers were among us?! Other mind readers for sure. And I would never know. I'd be in their listening range, moping, like I am now about my lack of ability to procreate.

There are other ways to have children. It sucks to think that I might be a genetic dead end. This theory of mine isn't confirmed though. As the only female werewolf I have no others of my kind to compare biology with. My period didn't stop until after I phased, but up until then I got it fairly regularly. Maybe if I stop phasing it will return, but until I try it, I will have to live in Hypotheticalopolis (okay, that's a stupid imaginary city name but it's my imagination so whatever). I've always felt that adoption and foster care are really great things to do with kids of any ages. I can't help but feel inferior though as if the natural world was a conscious being that was deliberately preventing me from procreating and continuing to be a part of this planet in terms of bloodlines.

Aside from simply raising kids and having a family, I've always like the idea of someone who shared my looks. Half me, half the love of my life. Great. Now I've started to think about my lack of lovers. When I was in high school my first _and_ most serious relationship had been with Sam, and look where that ended up. I don't really get many opportunities to meet guys or date nowadays with my pack responsibilities. Jacob knows I want to move away from La Push but although he won't ask me to stay, I know that he, Seth, and my mum still need me around for a while. Although my mum has gotten rather distracted with Charlie as of late. Not that she's inattentive to me and Seth or anything. She's just… in love again.

I turned off the hot water faucet and did a final rinse of the shampoo in my hair with just cold water. I got dried off and tugged on a soft, old t-shirt and some shorts and went down to the kitchen. In the fridge I found some leftover fried chicken but I felt like eating something heavier. I burn through calories like crazy. One of the aspects of being a supernatural freak that I quite vainly enjoy. But it comes with a downside too: being constantly hungry; we wolves have seriously insatiable appetites. Some days Seth and I will just open the fridge or pantry and basically inhale the contents. Mum hates having to do groceries so often but… she's not going to _not_ feed her babies.

Babies. Fucking hell. I just kept circling back to this no matter what I tried to preoccupy myself with. A new distraction arrived, as Seth entered the kitchen.

"I'm starving, Leah. Can we order a pizza?" he asked, looking completely unworried about the news we'd gotten at the Cullens'.

Pizza sounded good actually. But no way would one be enough for the two of us. "Sure that sounds good. Let's get three family-sized ones. If there's any leftovers, mum will be able to have some too."

Seth walked over to the fridge and took the magnet off the pamphlet menu of La Push's best pizza place. "Is mum at home or is she with Charlie?"

"With Charlie I think. I haven't checked. I was thinking about stuff and had a shower," I said. Seth didn't look at all bothered by this. Seth really likes Charlie. The kid would probably be over-joyed if mum decided to get re-married so quickly. Then Bella and the vamp clan would be our step family. Our mortal enemies by natural instinct. Seth's faith in the Cullens' alternative lifestyle erased all his cautions about having a vampire as a step-sister. In addition to that, having an Alpha that was imprinted on a hybrid leech-human, also dimmed his barely existent aversion to vampires.

An hour later Seth and I were slumped on the couch surrounded by open pizza boxes. The complimentary bottle of Mountain Dew we had gotten for ordering three pizzas was empty already. We shovelled down large bites of meat lovers, barbeque chicken, and margherita pizza and talked about the news Alice had given us about the Volturi.

Like me, most of what Seth knew about the Volturi was through what Jacob had learnt. I kind of hoped that he might know a bit more than he did truth be told. My brother spends far too much time at the Cullens' whenever he hears Jacob's going to be there. I'm pretty sure he'd go over every other day _without_ Jacob too.

"You know it doesn't make sense that they didn't tell us what they needed to earlier when we were over there," I said to Seth in between chewing. "Like… it's apparently so central to us, or so they suspect. No reason they couldn't tell us first and then just repeat it to Sam."

Seth considered this for a moment. "Maybe they weren't sure how to say it in front of me?"

I reflect on this. Hm... It was a pretty fucked up thing that the leeches had described about Aro. Hardly a comfortable topic to immerse yourself in with your baby brother. Although if being members of the same pack does anything, its blur boundaries. (Not that we _enjoy_ it even if we tolerate it.)

I decided to change the subject. "That Volturi crew is so messed up. They're like the Mafia of the vampire underworld." Seth laughed at that.

"That's funny. I guess they are. You know since they basically act like rule makers and enforcers, but do it in such a hush hush way." He reached for another slice of margherita and plopped it on his plate. "And," Seth continued, stretching the word, "they basically recruit vampires with special talents to act like their thugs."

"Walking, talking, weapons." I actually thought that extra powers or not, all vampires were weapons. Weapons that could suck cities dry and ruin them. 'Vegetarian' vamps like the Cullens were not exactly populous, and even with the Cullens I had my reservations. Doesn't matter how much camaraderie is built between my brother, my mother, my Alpha and the leeches. I'll always be cautious.

Seth's mobile phone beeped with a message alert just then. He reached for it while taking a bite and looked at the screen. His mouth opened in surprise and the margherita he had just bit into fell onto his plate.

"What's wrong?" I asked. Seth didn't reply. "Is it mum?" He shook his head.

"No it's from Paul." Seth stuffed his mobile into the pocket of his shorts quickly and kept eating. He turned his body slightly away from me to face the TV that was turned off.

I may not have empathic abilities like the scarred leech Jasper, but from Seth's expression I could feel his discomfort. Seth would never have a calling in the acting business. He can't do a poker-face at all. Right now he actually looks like he's in a bit of pain.

"What did it say?" I asked him but Seth chewed his pizza slowly and didn't answer me. "Seth, what did Paul say? What's wrong?" I was worried a bit, but I felt more annoyed. I put down my slice of barbeque chicken and reached for Seth's pocket. Seth grabbed my wrist and tried to wiggle out of my reach. Both our plates fell onto the carpet in the scuffle. Fuck. Mum can't see pizza sauce on the carpet. I'll have to clean it pronto.

Seth stood up and I took another swipe, but failed to pick his pocket again. "Alright! Alright! I'll tell you." He sighed. Shit. If Seth was acting like Paul had news that would be unpleasant to me, more so than the kind of shit Paul usually says, then that was probably exactly it.

"Well..?" I prompted him when he didn't continue, because today was apparently 'lets-make-Leah-wait-a-while-before-we-say-ANYTHING' kind of day.

"Emily and Sam have moved up the date of their wedding. It's going to be in two weeks."

Oh. So soon. Even though I'd left Sam's pack and made it clear I didn't want to have any extraneous connection to him, I was still planning to be Emily's bridesmaid. Everyone knows this as well. Paul could have texted it to me. Asshole. Ironic thing is I'd be mad at him if he had for rubbing the news in my face. Now I get to be mad at Paul by assuming, that he assumed I'd be overwhelmed with sadness about the change in wedding date.

From the look on Seth's face I could tell there was more. I could feel his worry, and this time he told me without me having to ask.

"Emily is pregnant. Paul said the wedding has been moved up because Emily and Sam want to go on their honeymoon before the baby arrives."

I didn't say anything. I felt frozen. In my mind I was screaming.

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 **Author's Note Continued:** I know these ANs contribute to the word count shown in the fic's info but I can't help myself! :( I wish I could end my chapters in a deep, resonant or exciting/shocking way, and not have ANs, just to leave you all with the "WOW WHAT JUST HAPPENED THAT WAS GREATTTT" feels as if you were channeling Tom Haverford from Parks and Recreation.

Please, _please_ leave a review. I get more alerts about people favouriting and following this fic, and I love that, but I'd love to hear your thoughts on this story so far! Feel free to point out any mistakes as well and I'll fix them up. :)

Sabrina xo | Thursday 23rd of July, 2015


	4. Announcements

**Disclaimer:** I do not own the rights to _Twilight_. If I did, the characters of colour would have gotten different (and dare I say it – better) representation.

 **Author's Note:** SO MANY THINGS HAVE HAPPENED IN MY LIFE IN THE LAST FEW MONTHS! This AN shall be a journal entry of sorts, soz: JACKSON RATHBONE FAVOURITED A TWEET I SENT HIM. This was such a huge deal for me honestly. He tweeted about his LASIK and I replied to him with a joke. The divine hunk of man candy acknowledged my existence on social media. (Any day now he'll leave his wife and child and we will be together. I just know it.)

I've had so many job interviews! I got my first ever non-tutoring job! I've met so many new people! I moved on from a toxic friendship with a fuckboy (who asked me out after ignoring me for almost a year)! I developed a thousand and one new crushes! I graduated from university! I lived to see the release of new Twilight material! I can't believe while I was still in my revisiting Twilight phase, Meyer came out with a gender-bent rendition of Twilight! I've learnt to love myself more! I've fallen in and out of my fanfiction phases. I've read more books! I've had realisations that I'm _not_ as unattractive as I think I am! I've gotten closer to some existing friends! I've made my parents proud! MEG CABOT AND SIEDAH GARRETT FOLLOWED ME ON TWITTER! …I still haven't written up that thing about Leah's Native American heritage being crappily represented in fanfics… I'll get to that though! I've been really happy for the most part. :)

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ANNOUNCEMENTS

Seth must have told mum about the wedding being moved up and why, because as soon as she got home that night she came to my room. I'd let Seth take care of the dishes and leftovers and gone to my room and listened to music. My mobile had a missed call from Emily's mum but I didn't ring back. It was probably about wedding details now that the event would take place sooner.

Mum asked me if I was okay and then it had all come out like word vomit.

I cried about not knowing if I'd ever imprint or start menstruating again. I told mum about how terrible it was to share my thoughts with the pack, even now when Sam couldn't hear my thoughts. I decided against telling her about the news I'd gotten about the Volturi that afternoon. My mum couldn't fix any of this for me, but sharing some of my woes felt liberating, even if it was for just one evening.

My sleep was dreamless that night, and I was so thankful to have had those few hours of peace.

* * *

I stood next to Jacob at the meeting. The Cullens hadn't arrived yet. Paul was trying to catch my eye but I didn't need to look determinedly away from him because Jacob was talking about Renesmee's latest fascination (an ant farm).

"Jacob, doesn't Renesmee's scent bother you? Despite her being your imprint?" I asked Jacob interrupting his detailed explanation of ant-keeping.

"Nessie? No she doesn't have the same scent as the others. Her DNA is not the same as a normally created vampire so there's no burning bleach-y smell," Jacob explained.

Yesterday I had thought Renesmee smelled equally as bad as the other leeches. Was this because they had all been in the kitchen at the same time, or did she actually smell and yet Jacob's imprinting exempt him from experiencing it? I knew from Jacob's thoughts that he was never alone with Renesmee no matter how much Edward trusted him, but I guess even with leeches around maybe he noticed her scent was different. I just nodded and let Jacob continue talking about the ant-farm.

Sam came into view talking with Seth. I had told him congratulations when Seth and I had arrived but hadn't prolonged talking to him. I could tell Sam felt quite awkward talking to me about it, but what choice did he have? I lived near him, I would be an in-law of sorts to him soon via Emily, and I was part of the community regardless. No matter how nice or how curt I was about this news, somehow it would be circulated that I was jealous and bitter. Fucking gossipy little town. Never mind the fact that I _was_ jealous of Emily's functional reproductive system.

A sleek black Mercedes pulled up at our meeting point. Jacob had somehow convinced Sam it would be okay if the Cullens came close to La Push's border. Alphas. They prioritise the most useless shit I swear it.

As the meeting started I stayed by Seth's side, a little bit away from Jacob. He stood next to Edward and addressed all of us, explaining everything they knew so far. Seeing the boys' angry reactions on mine and Seth's behalf was admittedly nice. Most of them liked Seth and thought of him in a brotherly way, and even though we weren't in a single large pack… it felt familial that they experienced rage over knowing a sicko vampire was after me. They weren't my protectors though. They were community protectors. That's what we all are. But as I'm a member of the community, their duty covers me as well.

It was silent for a moment and then Edward spoke.

"Thank you very much, Sam. I really appreciate the invitation and I know Bella will be happy to attend. Alice too; she loves any chance to dress up."

Wait. What? Oh no.

Sam cleared his throat. "Well I've given this a bit of thought. Emily and I both have," he looked at each of the Cullen men as he spoke. "We'd very much like to have your family attend our wedding next month."

"Sweet! A wolf party we finally get to attend! I'm there!" Emmett the big bear man of a bloodsucker exclaimed with a wide grin.

I stopped paying attention to what Sam and the Cullens were all saying. My mind was reeling with all the things being said. I was shocked at Sam's attitude, and hurt by his decision. I don't get along with Sam anymore, but until he'd made this gesture to the Cullens I hadn't really realised that this had been a link we'd had to unite us; our distant relationship with the local bloodsuckers.

All our official pack business was finished being discussed so I decided not to wait for Jacob's dismissal and started to walk away from the crowd. I decided to wait for Seth away from both packs, and it didn't seem like Sam noticed or cared. Not that I want Sam to care about my reactions.

Because my olfactory facilities were already assaulted with the Cullen mens' viciously sweet stench, I didn't realise that the scarred one had sidled up behind me until he spoke.

"Excuse me, ma'am?"

I turned around slowly, completely taken aback. What the hell did this leech want?

"What?" I said harshly, looking him over. I was probably doing a poor job of concealing my surprise and annoyance.

Jasper looked at me apprehensively and said the most random thing he could have possibly said to me. "I was wondering if you were alright? You seem very… distressed. Strongly so."

My mouth fell open in a new shot of surprise. What the frickety-frack?! "Mind your own business. There's no need for you to be concerned with me. I am fine." I turned away and walked over to Seth. I was fuming. Where the hell did that fucker get off asking me how I was feeling in front of everyone? Or asking me at all?

"Seth!" I barked. "We're leaving! Come with me now."

"Now hold on, Leah, we still have things to discuss," Jacob said frowing.

"Yeah? Well next time get all your business done first before wasting our time with personal matters," I scowled at him.

"I'm sorry, Leah. I really am. It's just hard you know. A lot of our personal matters get mixed up in pack business. I swear I'm not trying to make it inconvenient." Jacob actually looked really sincere as he said that, and I could feel my resolve to leave weaken. My anger was slightly more powerful though. I couldn't stand to be around that empathic bloodsucker anymore. It was more exposure than I could handle, having someone be more aware of my feelings than I was myself.

"Leah, I will come with you. Can we just stay a couple more minutes?" Seth pleaded, and I caved.

"Fine." I said shortly and stomped off in the opposite direction of Jasper. Take the hint, leech. I'm staying but not chatting. I was still annoyed he asked me if I was okay in front of Paul and the other guys. Another reason to remain in my shitty mood. Fucking perfect.

Jasper didn't look disappointed or anything but Edward was frowning. He started walking over to me. Why the eff? He should know better than anyone that I wasn't going to talk to him.

"You don't need to talk but you can just listen," said Edward gently as he got closer. "My brother simply noticed how distressed you were. It concerned him greatly. Your melancholy was irregularly resonant with him."

'Irregularly resonant'? Was I freakish to the freak just like Bella had been to Edward? Yuck.

"Not quite like that. But it is similar. Jasper was just – is just – wanting to make sure you're not going to explode."

"I'm not going to and he doesn't need to fucking worry." I crossed my arms and turned away from Edward. I know crossing arms is a defensive stance, but I was defending myself against the leech's concern.

"I want to agree but I know too much to do that honestly," Edward half-smiled. "What you thought a little while ago, about Jasper being more aware of what you're feeling that you are on your own… that's what's making him nervous. That you'll realise when it's all too much to cope with."

I turned and looked over my shoulder at Edward. "He doesn't need to fucking worry about me. Tell him that."

"I don't need to. He can hear you. But he won't listen."

I involuntarily flicked my gaze over to where Jasper and Emmett where standing as Carlisle continued to talk to Sam. Jasper wasn't looking at me, but clearly was listening in with his brother.

"Fine don't tell your brother. But tell mine I'm going." I didn't turn back to look at Edward again, or anyone else. I ran to the edge of the forest ignoring whatever Jacob was yelling (great he notices me at the wrong moment – again). Once I was behind a tree I tore off my dress and bound it to my leg, pleased that I hadn't ruined this one in an uncontrolled transformation.

In my wolf form I ran far but still in the Forks district, away from La Push. I changed back immediately when Seth's mind-voice joined my thoughts. Mostly because I wanted to keep my embarrassment from the end of the meeting to myself for as long as possible and also a little bit because I was hurt it took my baby brother so long before deciding to transform and 'talk' to me.

I slipped my dress on again and remembered how Sam's face had clouded over with disgust in the meeting when Edward had said "Aro has what one might call a collector's mentality." For a moment I entertained the idea that Sam was possessive of me only to immediately berate myself for allowing myself to think such a ridiculous thing. My feelings about Sam were unhealthy and inappropriate. I wanted to will them out of existence. I haven't been in romantic love with anyone other than Sam, but I know that only time will help me get over him. People don't stop feeling a certain way just because they choose not to. That's not how emotions work.

"Why can't I control my emotions?" I say out loud for no damn reason, walking around a wide tree trunk, tracing an area where bark has peeled away.

"Because that would not be human," answers a deep voice shocking me. Suddenly I was face to face with Jasper, who had walked around the same tree trunk.

A growl rumbled from me as I pounced in the opposite direction of the leech, transforming and showing him just how not human I was capable of being at times. My fucking dress was ruined. I loved that dress. The print was getting super faded but I still liked it. On top of all the shit in the past two days I didn't need that. It's a small thing compared to everything else but it upset me. When you're down in the dumps even small things take a big toll on you I've noticed.

When it rains it fucking pours though as they say. And it did literally start raining just then. Whiffs of burning sweet leech kept reaching me mingled with the petrichor.

I stopped running but didn't change back. Jasper zoomed over to me with inhuman speed. He was holding a light purple dress and pair of black patent leather flats with gold buckles across them. The idiot didn't think I would change into my naked human self in front of him did he?

"I know we are not friends by any definition, Leah – " he started to say but was cut off me derisively snorting, a sound that was much better as a wolf than a human interestingly.

He tried again and held out the dress and shoes. "Please take this. It's preferable to talk to someone who can answer me back." It was finally clicking with me that Jasper had come alone. No Seth, no Jacob, no Edward, no one but him.

With a grumble and a sigh I opened my mouth and gently clamped his offerings between my jaws. They stunk of leech and I wanted to gag.

I went and changed behind the closest thick tree. I put on the shoes first and then the dress. It must have been his tiny wife's. It was really short on my long body. My ass was covered but a lot of my thighs were on display. It was a cute chiffon sundress. If it didn't smell so disgusting I'd probably actually like wearing it. I wondered who the shoes belonged to. His wife probably had much smaller feet than me, Washington's giraffe of a bitch. Ha.

"So what is it that you've stalked me all the way into the forest for, bloodsucker?" I asked him.

"Dinner," Jasper replied simply.

"Excuse me? Get some other animal to be your meal." My retort was lame but I felt my attitude made up for my lack of creativity.

"No, Leah. I meant _have_ dinner with me."

* * *

 **Author's Note Continued:** Did I mention that I've corresponded with aKindofGlory? Author of 'Maps'? BECAUSE I HAVE! (Honestly that made me as happy as all the Twitter shit I mentioned at the top.) Seeing that her profile was edited on the same day she replied to me gives me fluttery fangirl feelings. *dreamy sigh* Everyone go and review/re-review 'Maps' so that Dea feels encouraged to edit her existing material and post it!

Sabrina xo | Wednesday, 14th of October, 2015


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